The Hunt (the second time)

Several days ago I posted a poem about depression, left it up for only several hours then deleted it again. There were reactions that I had not anticipated and I didn’t want to hurt anyone with it, particularly my family and friends. On the flip side there were also those who identified with the poem and found a voice for their own pain in its words. Because of that I have decided to post the poem again, but to add hope for “The Hunt,” which I am finding daily in God’s Word and through His people.

The Hunt

Even though I am:

Serenaded by music
all I hear is silence

Surrounded by people
all I feel is isolation

Showered by love
all I know is rejection

Successful in business
all I fear is failure

Saved by Truth
all I believe are lies

Strengthened by Grace
all I want is escape.

These are my hunting grounds
and I am not the hunter.

© By Jewel Miller

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In my previous post I shared a little about the experiences our family has had with cancer and the blessings we have gained through those experiences. Depression is an illness that is like cancer of the soul, and in many ways is far more crippling and torturous than cancer. It is so painful one wants to curl up and hide so no one knows and no one sees and no one touches you. I’ve battled depression off and on through much of my adult life, wrote about it secretly and covered up my pain and tears with a sunny disposition, smiles and humor. Then, last year, a kind and perceptive doctor lifted my blanket of secrecy, and with sensitivity and gentleness, brought my depression into the light-filled spaces of openness and candid communication. Suddenly my depression took a surprising turn and I was out in the sunlight, fighting this Hound of Thoughts with the newfound companionship of family and friends – even my church family. For the first time in over thirty years “The Hunt” is different. I’m fighting my pursuer, The Hound of Toxic Thoughts, with a brand new set of tools and he’s growing small and weak and his teeth are falling out. To my utter relief I’m no longer spending more time running while looking over my shoulder at the past than I am contentedly enjoying the present. The future? I’m not quite there yet, but I have hope (another new blessing) that the day is not too far away when I can face it bravely because I know Who holds tomorrow and He’s the same Jesus Who enabled the fearful to walk on water. His love for me is so sweet it almost hurts to speak of it.

Let me share with you eight new tools that the Lord has given me this past winter and spring:

1. Openness
2. Enlisting prayer support from family and friends (lots of them)
3. Scriptures for every need
4. Bringing every thought into captivity
5. Eliminating as much stress as possible
6. Sleeping more
7.Herbal supplements for adrenal fatigue
8. Anti-depressant (I’m currently not taking them.)

If depression is hounding you I recommend that you pray for a Biblical counsellor and Biblical friends who can help you. Beware of psychological methods that encourage selfishness, oft-repeated memory-d.r.e.d.g.i.n.g. (wrongly believing that re-living of painful events will bring healing,) and much talk and analyzing of your present emotions. At best they bring a type of reprieve from the pain but their track record for lasting healing is very poor. Once you begin psychological counselling and psychiatric treatments (I’m not referring to medical treatments) you may begin a lifelong dependancy upon them so please don’t begin. If you already are receiving that type of counselling I urge you to consider switching to Biblical counsellors (100% Biblical.) The most outstanding difference between the two methods of counselling is that psychological counselling and psychiatric treatments look inward, analyzing the human heart and attempting to improve it with human reasoning, while Biblical counselling looks at the heart of God and rests in His healing and regenerative Power to change us. Truth is the best remedy available for emotional pain. Choose your friends carefully because true friends won’t judge you for depression. Instead, they will walk through it with you, not lifting your heart in praise to yourself, but in praise to our God Who saves us. He, and only He, is the True Healer of our souls and Deliverer from the Hounds of Our Past. To Him be all glory and praise now and forever. May His thoughts be our thoughts and His ways our ways. (Isaiah 55:9)

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5 thoughts on “The Hunt (the second time)

  1. Oh my! Somehow I missed your new blog and what a good thing it is to find! Depression. The past few years have been a real ride to sanity. Everything you say here is true. God bless the godly counselors who point the way to Real Hope.

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  2. Thanks for sharing this Jewel. Depression is something that probably hits us all if we’re honest from time to time to some degree, but when it becomes full blown, it’s just hard. Hard for those in it, hard for those looking on, hard to know the best way to treat it. We don’t fully understand it. I appreciate your thougths here. For whatever reasons God often allows us to go through seasons of really depending on Him, but we can be sure He never wastes a hurt! Teresa

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  3. Jewel,
    I’m so glad you posted “The Hunt” the second time. I love the hope it offers. Your journey can be an encouragement to many others. Keep writing and sharing! God comforts us in our pain so we can comfort others. Christy

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